If we can all agree on one thing, it’s that understanding human emotions is difficult. And with some feelings such as admiration and jealousy, the line can very much be blurred. Thankfully, there are some telltale signs that someone might be green with envy, even as they cheer you on. Let’s look at a few of them.
1. They constantly compare themselves to you.
Everyone has had that friend who can’t help but turn everything into a competition. Maybe a comparison here or a little benchmark there. But soon, you notice a pattern—your successes become their measuring stick. It doesn’t matter if it’s your new purchase or a professional achievement, their admiration comes with a need to keep up or edge past you.
2. They’re not great at complimenting you.
It feels good to be complimented, right? But when those praises come with little digs, that’s where the rub lies. “Great job on that project, though I’m shocked they went with your idea!” It’s backhanded compliments like these that keep you just a bit off balance. Hearing enough of these mixed messages will make you feel uneasy.
3. They imitate you.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so the saying goes. However, when someone mirrors your style or picks up your habits, it’s worth a second look. Are they simply admiring you, or is there a little rivalry going on? Most of the time, it’s a bit of both, and their imitation suggests that they’re trying to outshine you instead of match you.
4. They celebrate your downfalls.
Why does it seem like some people are a bit too interested when you hit a rough patch? If someone’s ready to pop the popcorn when your plans go pear-shaped, consider it a sign. They might also be a little too concerned, which could be a mask for the relief they feel seeing you struggle. Sometimes, their eagerness to discuss your issues in detail is actually gossip rather than support.
5. They come across as too interested.
There’s friendly interest, and then there’s questioning. Someone who’s overly curious about your life is going to make you feel like you’re under a microscope, and that’s not simple admiration. They’re likely cataloging your life’s details—perhaps to keep score. Whenever these questions go beyond normal curiosity and into personal territory, they’re likely trying to monitor your every move. That’s never good.
6. They scrutinize your success.
Have you ever noticed how some people can’t seem to celebrate your wins, no strings attached? They might downplay your achievements or suggest you rode others’ coattails, which is just jealousy in disguise. These people can’t fully celebrate your success without a “but” or “however” to tether it down. It’s enough to make even your biggest achievements feel less important.
7. They support you…sometimes.
A friend who’s supportive when it’s a small win but absent when you hit the jackpot is a friend who’s likely very jealous of you. They’re selective with their support because their relationship with you has its limits. When your success starts outshining their own, their enthusiasm mysteriously fades away. That’s not the kind of person you should be hanging around.
8. They try to steal the spotlight.
Watch out for those who try to shuffle center stage when you’re talking about your achievements. Whether they change the topic to themselves or undermine your moment, their actions speak volumes about how uncomfortable they are with your success. Initially, you might just think these moments are subtle. Unfortunately, their aims are clear—they want to put the attention on themselves, and your achievements are a stepping stone to do that.
9. They compete with you (and others) on social media.
up each other. For example, have you noticed someone always trying to top your posts or creating comments that just seem competitive? It’s their way of keeping up with the Joneses or even to pull ahead. On the surface, their comments and posts might seem friendly, but there’s actually an undertone of competition.
10. They cast doubt on you and your successes.
When someone questions the foundation of your successes, it’s thinly-veiled envy. They might suggest your achievements are because of luck, or they start questioning your competence. Either way, they’re trying to reshape the narrative of your success to comfort themselves and undermine your efforts. Their hope? That other people think your achievements aren’t fully deserved.
11. They give you unsolicited advice.
Sometimes, you’ll get advice that feels a tad patronizing, like, “You know, if I were you…” It’s unsolicited advice that undercuts your choices and suggests that your success doesn’t come from your skills or talents. What they’re trying to do is level the playing field—but in their favor. No matter how concerned they might come across, you can’t ignore the subtle message that you don’t really know what you’re doing.
12. Their mood swings along with your success or failure.
Two men in suits are engaged in conversation in a white room. One man, facing forward, has his arms crossed, while the other has his back to the camera.
Watch for anyone whose moods swing wildly with your fortunes because their emotional responses are signs of their internal struggle with your success. These mood swings show just how much it affects them. It can be pretty confusing trying to understand them, and such a drastic change in emotion causes issues for your relationship. But they don’t actually care.
Content by: Arvyn Braich
